It's 11:00am and all is well with the universe

Whoah... I hope you all had a good BREAK over the festivus season. For example, if you are an accountant, I hope you did no accounting. If you are a toilet paper salesman, I hope you sold no toilet paper. If you make comics, I hope you... well you get the picture...

The good thing about getting back to work after a vacation is getting back to organising things. Putting paper clips in boxes. Colour coding your post-it notes. I also love getting back to find my inbox full so I can go through and star all the important ones. I've written to gmail suggesting that they rename the "star" feature. It really needs to be called the "procrastinate indefinitely" feature. You'd think that "Starred > Unread" but it always ends up being "Starred < Deleted". Seriously. I found emails in my "starred" folder dating back 2 years. Someone even wanted to fly me to Boston to be an expert witness in a photoshop case a few months back... PHOTOSHOP CRIME! IN BOSTON! But no, Gmail's "star" feature lost it for me. It looks like James Spader and Bill Shatner will just have to solve this one on their own.

So that's what happened to the comic. I had it starred in my inbox: "Do a new comic". But this is a new year. Time for a new resolution. Sure last years resolution was to do comics more frequently, but this year I made an additional new years resolution to actually keep my new years resolutions... It's a sure thing.

If you click here, you will find a comic! Huzzah!

Noo - Cul - er... Say it with me.

Noo - Cul - er...

Well, that was fun.

I suffered a severe Ping-Pong related injury this weekend. I was just trying to land a sweet 360 double axle backhand drift when it all went horrible wrong. Just as I began to add my 1200 degree per second rotation cotton spin to the end of this otherwise flawless shot, I noticed that my stance was being disrupted by a somewhat excrutiating pain. It turns out that micro variations in the carpet texture in the aforementioned pong return zone, had interfered with the delicate machinery of this particular maneuver, causing my toe to buckle under the pressure and to give the false illusion that I was actually completely uncoordinated.

I assumed the crane position and continued play, but like the good daniel-san before me, I already knew that it wasn't about whether you win or lose. Which is just as well, cause I lost like... 5 games that night.

So now all mong toed, hobbling like the elephant man I wish you adeu!

This here is the link where you click see to get to the comic!

Well it's official. The machinery of war has finally come out as an elaborate comedic act. In retrospect I guess it was a pretty funny gag. That Ann Coulter shtick was pretty over the top to begin with - wig work that would have made Barry Humphries proud - still I guess that's the joke. I wonder if 'she' had to get those dresses made up by the costuming department for her unique build? That oil baron character you wrote in as the President? Classic. I have to admit, when I first heard that he set up a business with the family of the story's antagonist and resident bogeyman, I was a little skeptical. That's a pretty cliched story. Friends turned to enemies? Two great powers battling it out for personal vendettas? All in all though, good work. Very amusing.

Still out of all of it, the clinker really was the latest gag by Fox. Well done on that. Had me in stitches :)

You can stop now though.

Seriously.

It's 12:56am and all is well with the universe.

I really shouldn't post after I've read the day's news. I really shouldn't read the news at all. It always seems pretty bleak until you remember that you're joining in on one of the most boring possible conversations - between Journalists, Politicians and Lawyers. The only time us "regular citizens" get to play a part is when we do something outrageous... even then we're only given a bit part - as sales fodder.

The Thirst for Knowledge

My brain is thirsty for information. It craves it. The trouble is the only people who deal in dopamine are journalists. They feed me up on cutlets of terror, and braised outrage. It gives that sense of purpose that's been lacking since people stopped being interested in robots and space and dinosaurs. It's a lot cheaper for a journalist to develop and sell "hatred" than it is to sell science or art. The profile needs to be raised for stuff that's interesting - stuff that matters. I don't want to see John Howard meeting with Bush! I want to see him meeting with Jules!

Maybe after we shake all this paranoia out of our systems we'll be able to get back to the important things in life.

There's also been some pretty bizarre stuff going on down at Rich Gentlemen Hide's The Argh! lately. (My english teacher would be proud) Feed your brains!

I just wanted to take a minute of your time to introduce you to a few of your neighbors. It's easy to forget that we're not the only creatures on the planet, and while I don't mean to preach, I hope you can realise that when news articles talk of the 50,000 species that die off every year, they're often talking about creatures such as these. Some of these beautiful, unique beings get killed each year in the millions as a result of human activity - Wiped from existence before anyone even knew they existed. I look into their eyes and I see a friend. I see a brother I've forgotten. I see a family member that would at least hesitate before they sucked out my eyeballs from their sockets like oysters from the shell... In some cases anyway. But I still love them equally.

Some of these are threatened, others are not yet in any danger. Let's get to know our own neighborhood before our own petty problems destroy them...

The Madagascar Sucker-footed Bat, was discovered in January 2007 and he's already threatened due to human activity. I like him best.

More can be seen here or out in the real world

It's a CELEBRATION (bitches). Karl Rove has decided to call it quits from his position as Bush's "Deputy Chief of Staff". "The Architect" has only until the end of August to corrupt the world beyond all repair, after which he'll be gone without a trace. (well, he'll be working at Halliburton, or as Guiliani's personal pet. I'm sure there's no love lost there)

It's times like these I really have to fight back the tears. Rove quitting - walking out the door on my birthday of all days. It's enough to make a grown man break down and cry. At least we'll still have the memories... Say do you remember when Karl Rove first met George W Bush back in '76? Well it all happened when Bush Snr asked Rove to deliver some car keys to a fresh faced young dubya, on break from business school... (cue dreamy crossfade)

"Huge amounts of charisma, swagger, cowboy boots, flight jacket, wonderful smile, just charisma - you know, wow", Rove recalled years later before making a hasty exit to find a moist towelette.

Ahh good times. World Politics will feel so empty without Karl Roves enormous head in it. All we'll have left are those precious few memories of the Rovinator... And well... the P.A.T.R.I.O.T act... Torture... The largest scale wiretapping ever witnessed in the history of mankind... The DHS... And of course the hatred of the entire planet...

Goodbye Rove... May your remaining days be filled with the same amount of love and compassion you've emparted upon the world.