Yeah so, dreams are weird. I wake myself up when I talk in my sleep. I woke up the other morning mumbling something along the lines of

"and now with this we'll be able to finally cure cancer.... huh?"

The world can't have that cure because daylight decided it was much more important to wake me up so I could take the garbage out. What feats of humanity are lost to the sea of slumber my friends? What insights are sold to the sand man while the world rests? Ask not, for "a great many" may be the answer you find. Then again "Not really very many" may be the answer you may find... Perhaps "erm none... they're all rubbish" might manifest as the solution to this eternal riddle. One may never know (but one could totally guess)

Can we PLEASE correct these lies, half truths and blasphemes about Michael Jackson? We all know what a genius the guy was. Paul McCartney got to die during Sgt Pepper (and before Wings *phew*) Billy Shepherd has been living his life ever since (look it up) Elvis got out of the game before he got fat and old. He was, of course, replaced by an impersonator who didn't share the same self control.

Michael Jackson Died. It was a tragedy, but we all need to move on. We can't keep going on trying to convince ourselves that this white woman who stole his identity is the King of Pop. He's dead. Tragic.

Now go and listen to Thriller.

All mah diggas in the house, cmon and let me hear you say "ohhhh!"

So I tried again to be emo. The first time was not such a success so I thought this time I'd try it out in the real world... Heck I liked The Crow! I was into The Cure! My generation INVENTED emo (though we called it grunge... and had better taste in cardigans)

If you're thinking of trying to be an emo hipster at home, I have a few tips for you (Courtesy of random internet hearsay. I can't take credit for it)

1. Click "Random article" on Wikipedia. The title of the article is the name of your band.
2. Get random quotes from www.quotationspage.com, the last four words of the last quote on the page is the name of your album.
3. Get random (CC-licensed) photos on Flickr, the third image is your album cover.

For some reason I came out brit pop ^

I'm a day late with valentines. This might come as a shock to you all but I'm not quite the Mr Smooth people think I am. (I'm sure someone does) Fortunately, thanks to the miracle of time zones, I'm right on time for a USA valentines day. Maybe I'll send Condi a bouquet...

By the way, if you haven't already, you should check out Amplive's Radiohead, In Rainbows remix project called "Rainydayz". He did the mix and didn't get approval to release it... so he does this great plea saying something a bit like:

"Yo Thom... I got Del on this... I got Charli2na from Jurassic 5... Yo, you gotta let me release it... holler! holler at me!"

Fortunately for us, Thom hollered at him and said "Well there old copper. Me and the gents down at the radiohead castle 'ave had a yarn about it over a couple of pints and we fink that you can release it only if you make it free. awright old chap?" (or something to that effect...) and now we've got the marriage of some of the greats in indie and hip-hop!

peace! (handsign)

It's 11:00am and all is well with the universe

Whoah... I hope you all had a good BREAK over the festivus season. For example, if you are an accountant, I hope you did no accounting. If you are a toilet paper salesman, I hope you sold no toilet paper. If you make comics, I hope you... well you get the picture...

The good thing about getting back to work after a vacation is getting back to organising things. Putting paper clips in boxes. Colour coding your post-it notes. I also love getting back to find my inbox full so I can go through and star all the important ones. I've written to gmail suggesting that they rename the "star" feature. It really needs to be called the "procrastinate indefinitely" feature. You'd think that "Starred > Unread" but it always ends up being "Starred < Deleted". Seriously. I found emails in my "starred" folder dating back 2 years. Someone even wanted to fly me to Boston to be an expert witness in a photoshop case a few months back... PHOTOSHOP CRIME! IN BOSTON! But no, Gmail's "star" feature lost it for me. It looks like James Spader and Bill Shatner will just have to solve this one on their own.

So that's what happened to the comic. I had it starred in my inbox: "Do a new comic". But this is a new year. Time for a new resolution. Sure last years resolution was to do comics more frequently, but this year I made an additional new years resolution to actually keep my new years resolutions... It's a sure thing.

If you click here, you will find a comic! Huzzah!

Noo - Cul - er... Say it with me.

Noo - Cul - er...

Well, that was fun.

I suffered a severe Ping-Pong related injury this weekend. I was just trying to land a sweet 360 double axle backhand drift when it all went horrible wrong. Just as I began to add my 1200 degree per second rotation cotton spin to the end of this otherwise flawless shot, I noticed that my stance was being disrupted by a somewhat excrutiating pain. It turns out that micro variations in the carpet texture in the aforementioned pong return zone, had interfered with the delicate machinery of this particular maneuver, causing my toe to buckle under the pressure and to give the false illusion that I was actually completely uncoordinated.

I assumed the crane position and continued play, but like the good daniel-san before me, I already knew that it wasn't about whether you win or lose. Which is just as well, cause I lost like... 5 games that night.

So now all mong toed, hobbling like the elephant man I wish you adeu!

This here is the link where you click see to get to the comic!

Well it's official. The machinery of war has finally come out as an elaborate comedic act. In retrospect I guess it was a pretty funny gag. That Ann Coulter shtick was pretty over the top to begin with - wig work that would have made Barry Humphries proud - still I guess that's the joke. I wonder if 'she' had to get those dresses made up by the costuming department for her unique build? That oil baron character you wrote in as the President? Classic. I have to admit, when I first heard that he set up a business with the family of the story's antagonist and resident bogeyman, I was a little skeptical. That's a pretty cliched story. Friends turned to enemies? Two great powers battling it out for personal vendettas? All in all though, good work. Very amusing.

Still out of all of it, the clinker really was the latest gag by Fox. Well done on that. Had me in stitches :)

You can stop now though.

Seriously.

It's 12:56am and all is well with the universe.